The other day I was at a milonga and was using the close embrace, and the lady I was dancing with pushed me away and pressured me to dance only with open embrace. I felt quite humiliated as I was not too close or dancing inappropriately.
Is this normal?
I have had this happen myself a few times (maybe once a year) and there are two schools of thought on this.
1. The first school of thought says that the follower should always feel 100% comfortable and should be able to control elements of the dance around her. Whilst she cannot lead, she can control the axis, the embrace, etc. So if she feels uncomfortable with the embrace, it is completely ok for her in a polite manner to push it out and change it.
2. The second school of thought says that tango is all about the close embrace. Sure, couples are allowed to dance open, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if lead or follower wishes to dance close, then they should. If you don;t want to dance close embrace you should do tap dancing! (That was a joke by the way).
The reality is that both schools of thought exist side by side, and there is no ultimate correct answer. However if the follower humiliated you then she did wrong. There is no excuse for this. But I would have had to see the dance to say for sure whether she was too abrupt, or perhaps you misread her communication.
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